إدريس عبدالله
_14 _July _2015هـ الموافق 14-07-2015م, 08:31 PM
Psychological impediments
It is part of wisdom and intelligence to stop a while to know why the feelings of hatred and break in communication continue between women for long despite knowing that the religion prohibits it. It appears that psychological impediments play a large role whereby they affect religious teachings. Among that is the thinking that the woman that starts salam and reconciliation is of little honor while the woman that is able to persevere with the lack of communication is honorable and strong. For example, the wife of the son may think that if she starts reconciliation with her mother-in-law it will open the door for concessions and humiliation. She does not think that not only will she be rewarded in the hereafter but also in this world and the least of it is her husband’s pleasure who is her paradise and hell. And her mother-in-law on the other hand does not think rationally that she is older and should have more wisdom. In fact, she is supposed to ignore her ill-feelings like a mother who wants happiness for her son and does not wants his feeling shattered between his mother whom it is obligatory upon him to be kind to her no matter what and his wife whom he loves and feels happy with her.
The feelings of jealousy and envy may also play a big role behind the curtain. You will never find a woman in conflict with another woman and acknowledge this detestable feeling as the cause even if she feels it in her mind, she will never say it openly instead she will continue to hide it and cover it up with different types of trivial problem but a discerning eyes can realize it or she may utter some envious statement mistakenly.
This does not mean that these psychological defects are limited to women and not known to men rather, the traditions of the Prophet-peace be upon him- prohibiting these feelings are originally addressed to men but probably because women have stronger emotions.
How can you succeed?
Verily, taking a careful examination of human soul generally and your own soul in particular (And [by] the soul and He who proportioned it. And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness,) (Q91:V7-8) is your biggest gateway to success in starting a new page in your relationship with those around you and when you add to that those fragrance reaching you in this blessed times which give you the ability to change and face the obstacles in your relationship with others then you will feel the saying of the Prophet while inviting to love: “by one in whose Hands is the soul of Muhammad you will not enter paradise until you believe and you will believe until you love each other” reported by Muslim. Your soul will also be elevated to high levels when you remember the answer of the Prophet when he was asked: who among the people ids best? He said: “everyone who is of pure heart and sincere in speech” they said: “sincere in speech” we know but what is “pure in heart” he said: “it the (heart) that is pious and pure with no sin, injustice, rancor, and envy” reported by Ibn Majaa.
She will stare at a distance and smell the fragrance of paradise from far while she repeats in her heart the saying of Allah about the people of paradise: “ And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other.” (Q15:V47)
She will not allow this year’s Ramadan to go without purifying her heart and fill it with love, and spread her hands with good to those around her.
It is part of wisdom and intelligence to stop a while to know why the feelings of hatred and break in communication continue between women for long despite knowing that the religion prohibits it. It appears that psychological impediments play a large role whereby they affect religious teachings. Among that is the thinking that the woman that starts salam and reconciliation is of little honor while the woman that is able to persevere with the lack of communication is honorable and strong. For example, the wife of the son may think that if she starts reconciliation with her mother-in-law it will open the door for concessions and humiliation. She does not think that not only will she be rewarded in the hereafter but also in this world and the least of it is her husband’s pleasure who is her paradise and hell. And her mother-in-law on the other hand does not think rationally that she is older and should have more wisdom. In fact, she is supposed to ignore her ill-feelings like a mother who wants happiness for her son and does not wants his feeling shattered between his mother whom it is obligatory upon him to be kind to her no matter what and his wife whom he loves and feels happy with her.
The feelings of jealousy and envy may also play a big role behind the curtain. You will never find a woman in conflict with another woman and acknowledge this detestable feeling as the cause even if she feels it in her mind, she will never say it openly instead she will continue to hide it and cover it up with different types of trivial problem but a discerning eyes can realize it or she may utter some envious statement mistakenly.
This does not mean that these psychological defects are limited to women and not known to men rather, the traditions of the Prophet-peace be upon him- prohibiting these feelings are originally addressed to men but probably because women have stronger emotions.
How can you succeed?
Verily, taking a careful examination of human soul generally and your own soul in particular (And [by] the soul and He who proportioned it. And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness,) (Q91:V7-8) is your biggest gateway to success in starting a new page in your relationship with those around you and when you add to that those fragrance reaching you in this blessed times which give you the ability to change and face the obstacles in your relationship with others then you will feel the saying of the Prophet while inviting to love: “by one in whose Hands is the soul of Muhammad you will not enter paradise until you believe and you will believe until you love each other” reported by Muslim. Your soul will also be elevated to high levels when you remember the answer of the Prophet when he was asked: who among the people ids best? He said: “everyone who is of pure heart and sincere in speech” they said: “sincere in speech” we know but what is “pure in heart” he said: “it the (heart) that is pious and pure with no sin, injustice, rancor, and envy” reported by Ibn Majaa.
She will stare at a distance and smell the fragrance of paradise from far while she repeats in her heart the saying of Allah about the people of paradise: “ And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other.” (Q15:V47)
She will not allow this year’s Ramadan to go without purifying her heart and fill it with love, and spread her hands with good to those around her.