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_14 _July _2015åÜ ÇáãæÇÝÞ 14-07-2015ã, 08:25 PM
Ramadan is a great opportunity for change in all aspects of live. Spiritual growth and high determination do not just result in increase in acts of worship alone but also result in change in the aspect of inner self which every person hopes for. Thus, there will be real changes in the aspect of human relation and the nature of social relationship of an individual.
There is also a wider opportunity to make peace in the life of a person starting from himself to his life partner, his children and all his relatives, neighbors and friends. An intelligent woman takes advantage of the Ramadan season in changing the path in her life. Hence, it is not an exaggeration to say that most wives feel sad and depressed because most of them are in conflict with their husband. Their relationship is strained with intermittent anger, little discussion usually dry and centers on problems of the children and the likes. The woman suffers from weariness despite the enormity of the responsibility on her; she does not enjoy it and feels it is a psychological burden on her. She is always nervous with her children and not pleased with their manners, she has failed to establish friendly relationship with them. This has made most of our women failures in their life without hope of real change; they have surrendered completely to the way their lives have become and maintaining the pattern has become their major goal.
An intelligent woman alone can benefit from the season of Ramadan in reviving her life no matter the problems. So how can that be?
During the time of sahoor, after she has finished her night prayer and is sited seeking Allah’s forgiveness with reverence, she should remember the saying of Allah: “And said, 'Ask forgiveness of your Lord. Indeed, He is ever a Perpetual Forgiver. He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers. And give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers.” (Q71:V10-12). Thus, asking for Allah’s forgiveness guarantee’s wealth and wealth here is more than just money, it is love, warmth, and containment.
During this blessed time she should raise her hands up to supplicate Allah to grant her bliss, peace of mind, and to unite her heart and the heart of her husband, and bless her children.
Then, she should sit alone to herself for a little while, not more than ten minutes and take a deep reflection on her life with sincerity; because a person cannot change those around him even if they are his children. The only person he can change is himself then it will impact on the reaction of others.
She should remember the hadith of immigrant women and how the Prophet made the fulfillment of a woman’s obligations in her house and to her children equal to jihad and hajj after hajj. This way she would prepare herself for the expected change and then say to herself the result is rational and relative to my approach in life and I have to be patient and make new plans which may not yield immediate results until everybody becomes accustomed to the new me after change. She begins by asking herself what are strong and positive things about my husband? O my God they are many how comes I did not appreciate them, why didn’t I thank him for them. Why didn’t I offer cool words of appreciation which will make him not to be able to hold on to my mistakes because of love, why didn’t I praise him in the presence of my family and his family, why am I greedy to trust him the more?
Why should I face his anger with anger and his harsh words with harsher words and shout, cry and feel wronged and bitter, and report to my mother and sisters, or even leave sometimes with anger after all these years of marriage? Is this the attitude of an intelligent wife? Is this the attitude of a patient Muslim woman? Didn’t the Prophet say about a person fasting: (if a person abuses him or fights him he should say I am fasting…I am fasting) this is with an ordinary person so why should I treat my husband with such harshness, why can’t I take a deep breath and say I am fasting … I am fasting. Why don’t I imagine the Prophet saying: Don’t get angry.. Don’t get angry… Don’t get angry
There is also a wider opportunity to make peace in the life of a person starting from himself to his life partner, his children and all his relatives, neighbors and friends. An intelligent woman takes advantage of the Ramadan season in changing the path in her life. Hence, it is not an exaggeration to say that most wives feel sad and depressed because most of them are in conflict with their husband. Their relationship is strained with intermittent anger, little discussion usually dry and centers on problems of the children and the likes. The woman suffers from weariness despite the enormity of the responsibility on her; she does not enjoy it and feels it is a psychological burden on her. She is always nervous with her children and not pleased with their manners, she has failed to establish friendly relationship with them. This has made most of our women failures in their life without hope of real change; they have surrendered completely to the way their lives have become and maintaining the pattern has become their major goal.
An intelligent woman alone can benefit from the season of Ramadan in reviving her life no matter the problems. So how can that be?
During the time of sahoor, after she has finished her night prayer and is sited seeking Allah’s forgiveness with reverence, she should remember the saying of Allah: “And said, 'Ask forgiveness of your Lord. Indeed, He is ever a Perpetual Forgiver. He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers. And give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers.” (Q71:V10-12). Thus, asking for Allah’s forgiveness guarantee’s wealth and wealth here is more than just money, it is love, warmth, and containment.
During this blessed time she should raise her hands up to supplicate Allah to grant her bliss, peace of mind, and to unite her heart and the heart of her husband, and bless her children.
Then, she should sit alone to herself for a little while, not more than ten minutes and take a deep reflection on her life with sincerity; because a person cannot change those around him even if they are his children. The only person he can change is himself then it will impact on the reaction of others.
She should remember the hadith of immigrant women and how the Prophet made the fulfillment of a woman’s obligations in her house and to her children equal to jihad and hajj after hajj. This way she would prepare herself for the expected change and then say to herself the result is rational and relative to my approach in life and I have to be patient and make new plans which may not yield immediate results until everybody becomes accustomed to the new me after change. She begins by asking herself what are strong and positive things about my husband? O my God they are many how comes I did not appreciate them, why didn’t I thank him for them. Why didn’t I offer cool words of appreciation which will make him not to be able to hold on to my mistakes because of love, why didn’t I praise him in the presence of my family and his family, why am I greedy to trust him the more?
Why should I face his anger with anger and his harsh words with harsher words and shout, cry and feel wronged and bitter, and report to my mother and sisters, or even leave sometimes with anger after all these years of marriage? Is this the attitude of an intelligent wife? Is this the attitude of a patient Muslim woman? Didn’t the Prophet say about a person fasting: (if a person abuses him or fights him he should say I am fasting…I am fasting) this is with an ordinary person so why should I treat my husband with such harshness, why can’t I take a deep breath and say I am fasting … I am fasting. Why don’t I imagine the Prophet saying: Don’t get angry.. Don’t get angry… Don’t get angry